Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops