Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

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your mum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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what do you call your mom? mom

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops