The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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