Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

Whats circular and black? a black circle.

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

Women's rights

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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