What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

A chicken walked into the bar...

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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