why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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21

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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neil likes pube toast

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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