You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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