Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops