"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Penis

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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