Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops