When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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