You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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What's worse than this That :(

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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