Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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it was all Tagart

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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