Neil is a reterd.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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AND

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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penis. nuff said.

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Kevin and Ramin

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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