When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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