Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops