Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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