There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

A: Do you like it B: No

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

Your Mom The End.

A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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