Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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