roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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