Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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