im telling maguire

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

your face

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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