Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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A man penetrates another man.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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oh hey.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What's your guys names?

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops