Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops