Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down

But officer, I did come to a full stop!

thumb_up thumb_down

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

thumb_up thumb_down

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

thumb_up thumb_down

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops