What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops