Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops