Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -11

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops