"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chris Bosh's neck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops