What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -6

batman has diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Actually it was me Josh brown

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops