Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops