Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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