A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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ecks! why zee?

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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