Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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kkkk

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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