"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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