How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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