Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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what has genitial warts? me

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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