A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

68

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so old she died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the old man say? Im old

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops