Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops