Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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hear hear

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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