A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops