YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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I named my son ps2 controller

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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