What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Terry has ebola

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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