Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops