What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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