Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Ms Leong Sux

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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you give like i give lomain

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There was a white kid named Tyrone.

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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I woke up today

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Cheese

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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