ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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I am quite mature.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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