Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

Matthew Baker

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

He--Hey guys

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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