A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops