Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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hear hear

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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