Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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